Donna Partow

The highlight of this week’s session is a communion service.  Before enjoying a physical feast next
week for your closing session, it’s important to have the women focus on our true hunger: which is
spiritual. 

Listen to the audio Dread or Dare

Download and listen to the song "How Could You Say No?"  It is available on itunes.

See if you can find a soloist to sing it for your class this coming week. 

Arrange to have a pastor join your class for the last 15-20 minutes to conduct a communion service.  
Make sure you have all the elements you will need.

You might also enjoy my article, "What Are You Really Hungry for?"

Below is a chapter that was cut from one of my recent books (bummer!  I think it’s good stuff!)

Chapter 6:  Dare To Do What Your Dread

I became a Christian twenty-five years ago.  I’ve been in ministry almost from the day I prayed to
surrender my life to God.  The goal of living a life that counts for the Kingdom has been foremost in my
priorities throughout most of those years.  There were seasons when I became distracted, discouraged
and even disillusioned, but for the most part, I’ve kept on course by the grace of God.  I’ve been in full-
time ministry since 1982. Yet, ironically, I have never sat down with my parents and shared my
convictions with them.  I have never—to borrow a cliché–shared the gospel with them.  I’ve been putting
it off for 25 years.

Why?  Because I dreaded it.  Faith is a personal matter in my family; it’s something we don’t discuss.  
Since I am the only one who doesn’t actively attend the Catholic church (although I probably spend
more time reading Catholic devotional writers than the rest of my family combined—I just love Henri
Nouwen and many of the classic writers like John of the Cross, etc.), conversations about my “brand of
religion” are especially unwelcome.  My family is Irish and for those of you who don’t follow world
politics, there’s been a civil war raging between Catholics and Protestants in a divided Ireland for nearly
30 years.  So the fact that I, as an Irish-Catholic routinely attend a not-specifically-Catholic-non-
denominational-church is quite a bone of contention.

Procrastination is a Manifestation of Dread
So, other than my initial obnoxious evangelistic fervor, I’ve intentionally kept my big mouth shut about my
faith.  I especially dreaded talking to my parents because I didn’t want to offend them.  To dread means
“to fear something with a strong emotional response and in such a way, that it actually has a physical
impact.”  Very often, it has the effect of immobilizing us; dread causes us to put off doing things we
should get done; to avoid facing things we ought to face.  Procrastination is almost always a
manifestation of dread.  Clearly, we cannot live a life that counts for the kingdom when we are
immobilized by dread.

As I was praying about this, I couldn’t help thinking about Jacob.  He lived and worked with his father-in-
law, apparently long after he had fulfilled his obligations, even though the man repeatedly lied to him,
cheated him and changed his wages time after time.  This was not someone worth hanging around.  
But Jacob stayed, year after miserable year.  Why? Probably for a variety of reasons but I think the
underlying reason was because he dreaded  going home to face his twin brother, Esau.  
Do you have any relatives or someone in your past that you don’t want to face?  Or maybe it’s someone
or something in your life right now that dread dealing with it. So you keep putting it off.
Finally, Jacob’s situation became so unbearable that he decided to head home.  He sent messengers
laden with bribes to face his brother before he had to.  That’s always a good idea; if you’re afraid to face
someone in person, send them a present:

“When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is
coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”   In great fear and distress Jacob divided the
people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. He thought, “If
Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.”  Then Jacob prayed, “O God of
my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your
relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have
shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups.
Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also
the mothers with their children.”  Gen 32:6-11

Facing Dread is Always a Struggle
Clearly, Jacob is filled with dread, but he is walking steadfastly forward for one reason.  We find it in
verse 12:
“………….but YOU HAVE SAID” (Gen 32:12, emphasis added)

Jacob was afraid, but he doing what he believed God had told him to do.  In the New International
Version, there are two sub-titles included in Chapter 32.  They are:

Jacob prepares to meet Esau and Jacob Wrestles with God

Although those were added after the text was written, I truly believe they are God-inspired.  That’s exactly
what Genesis chapter 32 is all about.  Jacob is preparing to face his brother Esau and that is why he
wrestles with God.  I think it’s so unfortunate that these two events are rarely connected in our minds or
in the messages we hear.  But because it’s critical to make the connection. God had asked Jacob to do
something he absolutely, positively didn’t want to do; he dreaded it.  He was struggling with God but
pressing forward in obedience anyway.  What an example to us all:

“So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp. That night Jacob got
up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the
Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left
alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him,
he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then
the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."    

Jacob’s attitude was, “Hey God, you’ve got to bless me.  Look at all I’ve been through!  He’s in what I
like to call Major Motion Picture mode.  His mind was filled with how everyone else was the villain: his
father in law had deceived him and taken advantage of him.  His brother had threatened to kill him; that’
s why he ran away from home in the first place.  Now 400 men are apparently coming against him.  
This guy is wrestling with him.  Everybody’s out to get him.  He’s just the innocent victim here!

We Must Face the Villain Within
Jacob wasn’t willing to face the villain within, but God was determined to make him do so:
The man asked him, "What is your name?"
In other words, God was saying, “Jacob, I know you can name all of people who’ve done you wrong; all
the villains in your life….but who are you?”  It’s hard enough to face the villains in our life; it’s much
more difficult to face the villain in ourselves.  More than Jacob dreaded facing his brother, I think he
dreaded facing the truth about himself.  But it had to be done.  So God posed the question designed to
enable him to look himself in the mirror.
"Jacob," he answered.

Jacob means deceiver.  And that’s what Jacob was.  If we go back to the day these twins were born, we
discover that Jacob “came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. [Jacob
means he grasps the heel (figuratively, he deceives ).] “ Jacob had to own his part in this whole sorry
mess. He had played a part—a huge part—in creating it and whether he wanted to face it or not, he
couldn’t life a life that counted without confronting the villain within.

It was Jacob who had taken advantage of his brother at a vulnerable moment to rob him of his
birthright.  It was Jacob, with help from his mom, who had deceived his dad and robbed Esau of his
father’s blessing.  The Bible makes it plain that Esau had problems of his own and could easily be cast
as the villain, so I’m not making light of that truth. In the New Testament, God himself says he didn’t like
Esau either (verse).  But that’s not the point.  Right now, God wants Jacob to own his part.  He had hurt
his brother.  He had a major character flaw that God wanted to deal with before he could bless him.  
God always Deals with our character first

Maybe you have been crying out, “Bless me, God.  Bless me.”  God is saying, “Let’s deal with your
character first.”  That’s what he was saying to Jacob.  In that moment, as Jacob uttered his own name, I
think something happened.  I think a light dawned; I think he owned his stuff.  “Yeah, I guess I was a
deceiver, wasn’t I?  I guess I do need to take the blame. This mess is my fault and I’m going to have to
take responsibility, I must dare to face it even though I dread it.”

Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with
God and with men and have overcome"  (Gen. 32:21-28).
I believe what God was saying to Jacob was this:  “I know you didn’t want to come here; didn’t want to
face your brother.  You dreaded it.  But you dared to do it anyway out of obedience to me.  Because you
overcame your dread, I’m going to bless you and give you a new name.” 

It’s Easy to do Easy Things
Israel means struggles with God.  His name means that he was willing to do things that weren’t easy.  
It’s easy to do easy things!  Will you dare to do the things you dread?  That’s where the blessings are;
that’s the road to a life that counts.

Sometimes We Must Go Back the Way We Came
God told Jacob to go back the way he came.  (Incidentally, it’s the same instructions he gave Elijah
when he was hiding in a cave, dreading the thought of facing Jezebel.)  Even though God told him to do
it and promised to bless him didn’t make it any easier.  God never said it would be easy; he just said it
was necessary IF Jacob wanted to move forward to a life that really counted.

Jacob had an okay life.  He had a beautiful wife he adored.  He was also stuck with her ugly sister
whom he apparently couldn’t stand.  He had a whole tribe of kids; he had lots of stuff.  He could have
stayed in (town with his father-in-law) until he died.  But I don’t believe he would have fulfilled his destiny
in the Kingdom of God, I don’t think he would have experienced the blessings of God, if he hadn’t dared
to do the thing he dreaded most.  In fact, God had said IF you return, THEN I will bless you.  
That’s the test.   If you want to live an ordinary life, a so-so existence, you have that option.  Just stay
right where you are and don’t change a thing.  But you will never enter into your destiny, you will never
experience the blessings of God, you will not live a life that counts, unless you are willing to dare to do
what you dread most.

Jacob dared to face his greatest fear.  He didn’t want to face his brother.  He didn’t want to go back.  He
didn’t want to face the truth about who he was or the mistakes he had made.  He was so afraid he was
finally going to get what he had coming to him.  Is that what this trip home was about?  No.  God wasn’t
trying to set him up “get what was coming to him.”  He wanted to bless him, just like he wants to bless
you.  When God asks you to do the difficult things, when he asks you to face the truth about who you are,
the people you’ve hurt and the mistakes you made, it’s not because he’s out to get you.
Jacob was terrified to face his brother, but watch what happens:

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him.
And they wept” (Genesis 33:4).

I can see why Jacob spent all those years dreading that! I can see how he was so much better off with
his crooked father-in-law.  Of course, it probably didn’t hurt that Jacob bowed before his brother seven
times; it probably didn’t hurt that he humbled himself.  It probably didn’t hurt that he presented himself
in a new context.  “I’m not just your bratty twin brother any more; I’ve built a life for myself.  Please don’t
remember me for who I was.   Look at who I am NOW.”  Plus the presents were really nice, so that
helped too.

Don’t Ask “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”

The next time you’re dreading something, even if it means facing someone you have hurt.  (In this
chapter, I’m not talking about people who have hurt you; frankly, that’s almost easier.  It’s easier to face
a villain than to face the villain within!)  Maybe you need to face something about yourself and about your
character.  Maybe you need to face facts about the choices you’ve made.  Or about your habits, your
physical condition and the state of your relationships.  Don’t ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could
happen?”  Don’t paint the worst case scenario.  Instead ask:  What’s the BEST that could happen?  
All Jacob could think about was, “What’s the worst that could happen when I face my brother?”  In
reality, he had MANUFACTURED this whole scenario in his hand!  He manufactured and then
responded to a situation that didn’t even exist!!!  Tell me you’ve never tried that at home.  Or at the office.  
Or in a relationship.  Hello!  We do it all the time!   A lot of women like to play God by creating something
out of nothing.  When the Bible says “Be imitators of God” (ref), I don’t think that’s what it has in mind!  
When God created something out of nothing, it was very good.  When we create something out of
nothing, it is NEVER good.

Sometimes we Create Something Out of Nothing

Jacob has clearly created something out of nothing; at the very least, he has blown the situation
completely out of proportion.  Don’t miss Esau’s sense of humor in his remarks:
Esau asked, “What do you mean by all these droves I met?”
“To find favor in your eyes, my lord,” he said.
But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”

In other words, Esau said “Chill out and calm down.”  Here’s a great irony to consider:  Esau never
actually did anything to Jacob.  Never!  All he did was talk about him behind his back.  Yet Jacob was
terrified to face him.  My guess?  Because of his own guilty conscience.  Jacob is the one who had hurt
Esau.  The Bible says, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men.”   I also think
Jacob was blowing God’s requirements out of proportion.  God wasn’t requiring Jacob to become best
friends with Esau; he didn’t require him to allow Esau back into his life.  He didn’t tell him to let them
kids grow up together and reunite their families.  No, God simply said, “Go face yourself by facing him;
then we can move forward to those blessings you’ve been asking me for.”  Sometimes we dread taking
a step of obedience because we actually think God is requiring more than he is!  These two brothers
went their separate ways.  But they were at peace with each other and sometimes that’s all God asks. 

God’s Objective is Peace

Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let
not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful" (John 14:27).   Dread is a form of fear and the Bible
clearly states that “God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear.”   I want to look at the John 14 passage in the
Amplified Version, because this is amazing:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid.  Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated
and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.”
Whoa!  Stop allowing yourself!  Don’t permit yourself to live like that!  Instead, actively choose to live in
peace even if it means you have to take the first step.  Psalm 34:14 says “Seek peace and pursue it.”  It’
s not going to drop down upon you out of Heaven.

Peace Means Total Well-being in Spirit, Soul and Body

That word, peace, in Hebrew is Shalom.  It doesn’t apply just to relationships.  Some of us need peace
with God.  Some of us need to make peace with ourselves.  Peace means total well-being in spirit, soul
and body.  The Apostle Paul began almost all of his letters with the phrase “grace and peace.”  Grace is
God’s way of enabling us to experience heaven in heaven; peace is God’s way of enabling us to
experience a little bit of heaven on earth.  God wants you to have both.  Let me put it this way.  Grace is
your free ticket to heaven; peace is your ticket to enjoying the trip.

Grace is your ticket to heaven; Peace is your ticket to enjoying the trip

Once the Enemy of your Soul knows you’ve accepted God’s grace and will spend eternity in heaven, he
has to settle for second best: robbing you of peace so you endure a bit of hell on earth.  One of the
primary ways we are robbed of peace is by living in dread.  Notice how close DREAD is to DEAD!!!  That’
s what it does: it makes you dead inside—some of us are dying emotionally, even killing ourselves
physically; some of us have relationships that are dying because we don’t want to pursue peace like
the Bible says we should.

God Cares What Kind of Shoes We Wear

I had traveled to Living Water Retreat Center near Sedona, Arizona to prepare a series of messages to
teach at my home church.  When I unpacked, I realized I had forgotten to pack my running shoes.  Big
problem!  I went to three different stores and bought two different pairs of running shoes but neither of
them were quite right.  As a result, I couldn’t run properly and ended up injured and hobbling around for
two weeks—all because of the wrong shoes.
I knew there was an illustration in there somewhere.  So I began to think about it: does God care what
kind of shoes we wear?  Does it matter?  Actually, it does:

Ephesians 6:15 says we should have our “feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.”  I’m
not saying you have to run a marathon, but God does want you to have peace.  He wants you to be
emotionally healthy enough to sustain good relationships.  He wants you to be mentally healthy enough
and self-controlled enough to make good decisions.  He wants you to take reasonable care of your
body because it’s the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Your body is the only living sacrifice you have to offer
God.  A key to letting your life count is offering God your hands and feet.  That’s what God wants you to
be strong in spirit, soul and body.

When our feet aren’t shod with the gospel of peace, we end up hurt and hobbling around.  Without
peace at the foundation of our lives, we are inevitably hindered in the race of life.  Without peace, our
lives are ineffective and unproductive for the Kingdom of God.  Life is a journey; God doesn’t want you to
dread it.  He wants you to dare to live it, even when it means doing things you don’t want to do!
That’s what my 90-Day Renewal program is all about.  If you haven’t checked it out already, I dare you to
pick up a copy of my book Becoming the Woman I Want to Be which explains how you can make
incremental changes that will strengthen you in spirit, soul and body

Now, God won’t love you any less if you say, “All I want is Grace.  Just give me that free trip to heaven.  I
don’t care about the rest.”  Frankly, I think that option is available to you and it seems that a majority of
Christians today have settled for just that and nothing more.  But they are robbing themselves of
blessings.  If you want more—and I believe you do or you wouldn’t be reading a book entitled Let Your
Life Count.  If you want to be part of God’s awesome plan for this world; if you want to do more than
skate by—then yes, you have to get up and put the right shoes on – have your feet shod with the gospel
of peace—get up in the morning and go out and face the world. 

You Snooze, You Lose

If you want your life to count, then you absolutely positively will have to do things, lots of things, that you
are tempted to dread.  Personally, I absolutely dread getting out of bed in the morning.  Maybe you do,
too.  Guess why that dread comes over you as you try to awaken?  It’s not from God, certainly.  God’s not
whispering in your ear, “Hit the snooze button; it’s gonna be another miserable day. You can’t face it.  
Go back to bed.”  Who do you think whispers those lies in your head?  Who’s the Father of Lies?  
The Enemy of your Soul fills your head with that garbage, because HE dreads the prospect that you
might actually jump out of bed in the morning, ready to tackle the day. Instead, there you are. Snooze,
snooze, snooze.  That was the half-hour you were going to spend in your prayer room, right? That was
the half-hour you were going to walk around the block.  And there it goes; gone forever because you just
kept snoozing.  You know what?  It really is true:  You snooze, you lose.  I’m absolutely convinced that
the snooze button was invented by the devil : )  My husband is the snooze button king; but then again, I’
m hiding under the covers dreading the thought of getting up and pressing the snooze button.  I’m trying
to convince him that we should buy an old fashioned alarm for our bedroom–one that doesn’t have a
snooze button.  I’d go buy one myself but I dread going to the store.

What do you dread?  Guess what? That’s exactly what the Enemy of Your Soul dreads you’ll do
because it is more than the likely the very thing that will make your life count !!!
What do you dread?  What do you procrastinate over?  
       Making a phone call§
       Going to the doctor§
       Going on a diet§
       Getting your house in order§
       Going back to school§
       Changing jobs§
       Starting your own business§
       Launching into a new ministry§

Dread is from the Devil

You can be sure of this: Dread, as a form of fear, cannot possibly be from God.  Dread is from the Devil
who is trying to prevent you from experiencing God’s blessings and letting your life count. Whatever you
dread most, that’s probably the very thing God wants you to do so he can bless you!  (Now, obviously, if
you dread getting drunk that’s a whole different matter.  I’m talking about dreading something you know
you should do even though it’s difficult.)

Deanna Kiester serves as an on-line nutritional consultant through my on-line 90-Day Renewal
program.  She had been trying to convince her own husband, Robert, that he needed to undergo a liver
cleanse (which involves drinking olive oil and Epsom salts—not exactly fun!) for many months.  He told
me recently that he kept putting it off and putting it off, because he was overcome with dread at the
thought of drinking “the awful potions” his wife concocts!  Well, he finally dared to do what he dreaded
and says he feels absolutely fantastic!  It was exactly what he needed to do to make his body healthier
and his digestion more efficient.  Once he took that step, he has quickly dropped ten pounds and
moved his belt two notches in the right direction!

In other words, if you dread exercise, it’s because the Enemy dreads to see you exercise.  He dreads
the thought that you might become truly fit to serve your king.  He likes you sick and tired, unable to get
up off the couch.  He dreads what exercise might do for your total well-being.  He dreads that you might
go out into the world and let your life count.

I have wasted so many years of my life, sick and tired, depressed; sleeping 12 hours a day because I
dreaded the thought of getting up and facing my life.  Believe it or not, one of my nicknames used to be
“The dead woman walking.”  That’s what I was: the Dead Woman Walking.  I was DEAD because my
entire life was filled with DREAD!!!

The Devil Tries to Pawn Off His Dread on Us

Then I finally figured it out.  I finally figured out that the devil was just pawning off HIS DREAD on me.  He
is the one who dreaded the thought that the Dead Woman Walking might just come back to life.  He
thought he could keep me trapped in that living death forever; that life that was no life at all, but as I’m
fond of saying: “Guess what devil?  You got it wrong!”  Because I refuse to live like that anymore.  My
new motto is: The Devil should have killed me when he had the chance.  Because I’m alive now.  I want
to live the rest of my life in such a way that when my alarm goes off in the morning, the Enemy jumps to
his feet and yells, “Oh no.  She’s up!” 

When it’s time to get up and face the day, it’s time to get up and face the day.  Don’t lay there dreading
it.  Say “Devil, it’s your turn to dread.”  When your feet hit the floor tomorrow morning, be ready to do
some damage.  Jump up and say, “I’ve got my feet shod with the gospel of peace. I’m feeling healthy in
my spirit, soul and body. I love reading my Bible.  I am steeped in the Word of God.  I don’t dread
memorizing scripture; I love it.  I’m great at it.  I’ve finally got the revelation.  Any human being on the
planet can recite chapter and verse on ANYTHING we want to recite chapter and verse on. Don’t believe
me?  Can you recite chapter and verse on every person who’s ever insulted you?  Hurt your feelings?  
Can you recite chapter and verse on everything that’s wrong with your church and your boss and your
husband and your neighbors? 

Your mind works just like everybody else’s mind.  There’s nothing wrong with your brain. You’re not
brain damaged.  Do you know how many drugs I’ve fried my brain with but I can still remember
everybody who’s hurt my feelings, everybody who didn’t want to play with me.  Oh I can remember that
just fine.  Why?  Because I’ve recited that garbage over and over and over.  I refused to just let it go.  And
God created all of us with a brain that will absolutely, positively remember ANYTHING that we play over
and over and over again. 

Don’t Dread Making Decisions

The editors of Merriam-Webster dictionaries are studying which new words will be included in the next
edition. How about this?  Decidophobia -  the abnormal dread of making decisions;    Are suffering from
decidophobia?  I am !!!!  If you want to let your life count, start thinking things through and asking God to
enable you to make better decisions. 

Can I be really bold for a minute:  Is your life really that great right now that you wouldn’t dare make a
change, because you might blow the whole thing?  Is your life really that great?  Maybe it is.  I doubt it.
Make a great decision right now.  Decide that you will dare to do do the very thing you dread.

Dread Haunts Our Quiet Moments

Why did I put off talking and praying with my parents for 25 years?  Why did I live in dread?  Robbed of
peace as I lay in bed at night because I was so afraid my parents wouldn’t be in heaven, but
immobilized to speak up.  I’m a speaker! But I wouldn’t speak up to my own parents.  Dread is so
irrational; it’s such a deception!

You’ll have to face that thing you’ve been putting off sooner or later.  I’m saying: sooner is better.  What
we leave undone haunts our quiet moments and robs us of the peace Jesus died for us to enjoy.  That’
s what dread does: it haunts our quiet moments.  Emotional and mental exhaustion are far more
draining than physical exhaustion; I know that’s true in my own life.

Consider these words from Charles Hummel, author of the classic booklet, The Tyranny of the Urgent:  
“Hard work does not hurt us.  We all know what it is to go full speed for long hours, totally involved in an
important task.  The resulting weariness is matched by a sense of achievement and joy.  Not hard work,
but doubt and misgiving produce anxiety as we review a month or year and become oppressed by the
pile of unfinished tasks.” 

It’s those unfinished tasks; those unspoken words.  Aren’t you more exhausted by what you don’t do?   
Procrastination and dread suck the LIFE out of us.  You put something off for months or years and
mentally you are in torment.  You have no rest, then you finally do the stupid thing and it takes you about
15 minutes.  Then you think, “Why did I put that off for so long?  Why was I dreading that?”   I’ll tell you
why.  Because the Enemy is a tormentor and a liar, that’s why.  Whatever he says, the opposite is true.
He says, “If you want to have a great life, just take it easy.  Sit back.  Relax.  Take a nap.”  One of the
things I am most passionate about is getting people up out of the pews.  Of all the things people need
to be delivered from, need to be set free from—drugs, alcohol, sexual addictions—one of the most
pervasive is the need to get delivered from the church pew.  Too many American Christians are
addicted to the pew; they are addicted to sitting.  Someone needs to write a book “12 Steps to Get Up
out of the Pew!”  For now, I hope this book on letting your life count will serve as a starting point!

Last year, at my annual women’s conference, we had a special guest from Focus on the Family, Kathy
Gowler, who shared with us about an upcoming mission trip to Panama.  Kathy gave a beautiful talk
about about how she had sat in her car in a parking lot five years earlier and simply cried out to God,
saying, in essence, “I want my life to count.”  Since that time, Kathy has been on Brio mission trips and
travelled around the world to all seven continents.

Her story and the video she presented were so inspiring, I honestly thought every woman in the room
would sign up to make her life count. But as far as I know, only one woman dared to do so.  My guess is
that dozens, if not hundreds, of others thought very seriously about getting up out of the pew and going
on that mission trip. I can’t help wondering how many were held back because of DREAD.  Maybe they
dreaded raising the money; dreaded getting hurt; dreaded trying something new.  As someone who
was privileged to go on the trip, I personally discovered that it was nothing to dread; it was the
opportunity of a lifetime.  An opportunity to make our lives count for the Kingdom of God in a huge way
as more than 18,000 Panamanians prayed to receive Christ—and we had room for many more people
to come on the trip with us.  But they were robbed of a blessing by false dread.

Don’t Dread Taking Risks

Don’t dread taking risks! Researchers surveyed people over the age of 90, and asked, “What would you
do differently if you could live your life all over again.”  One of the top three answers was “I would risk
more.”  (The other two were “I would do more significant things”—in other words, I would let my life
count and “I would reflect more”—in other words, I would seriously consider whether or not the things I
was devoting my life to actually counted for something.  Getting the message yet?)

Why don’t we take a chance?  Why don’t we sing that song; write that book; register for that class; sign
up for a mission trip; go back to school, pursue a degree, look for a better job?  We’re afraid of what
people might think and it seems safer to just sit and do nothing.  Teddy Roosevelt said this:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the
doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again, there is no effort without error and shortcoming; [the credit belongs to the one] who
does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends
himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who
at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold
and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

I love the way Eugene Petersen rendered Ephesians 3:12 in his paraphrase, The Message: “When we
trust in him, we are free to say whatever needs to be said bold to go wherever we need to go.”  Now that’
s a life that counts!   Say what you need to say!  Do what you need to do.  Stop living in dread.  Stop
avoiding.  Stop putting things off.  Say what you need to say.  Do what you need to do and get on with
your life.  And be bold about it.  I love that. 

Jacob wrestled with God; he didn’t want to do what God had asked him to do.  He dreaded it, but he
dared to do it anyway.  So God gave him a new name and a new life.  But he had to take that step of faith.

God wanted to bless Jacob; he wasn’t trying to trick him or punish him.  God knew that before Jacob
could move forward, before he could receive a new life and a new name, he had to face the truth about
what he had done to his brother.  He had to dare to do the one thing he dreaded most.  Then and only
then could the blessings come.

When I returned from my recent mission trip to Panama, there was a message on my cell phone
informing me that my father had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure and multiple health
problems.  I knew at that moment that there was a phone call I couldn’t put off any longer.  So even
though my heart and mind were filled with dread, I picked up the phone and called my dad at the
hospital.  I simply asked my father if I could share with him what I believe about God; what I have
devoted my life to.  He very graciously said yes.  We had a wonderful conversation and in the end, my
father agreed to pray silently as I led him in a prayer over the phone.  I hung up with great assurance
that I will see my father in heaven.  After twenty-five years, I had finally traded my dread for peace.
Then I called my mother and asked her if I could speak with her about my faith and about heaven.  She
indicated that it wasn’t a good time, but she would call me later.  All day long, I dreaded talking to her.  
As the hours passed, I was afraid she wouldn’t call.  She waited until after 11:00 at night her time to call
and when I heard her voice, I started hyperventilating.

My mother and I talked for more than an hour and although we agreed to disagree on some minor
points of religious doctrine and practice, I truly believe she understands that we are saved—not by
works or rituals—but by faith in the Cross of Jesus Christ.  I look forward to spending eternity with her
and my dad.

Jesus Dreaded the Cross

Jesus dreaded the cross.  He wrestled with his Father in the Garden of Gethsemene.  He was so
overcome with dread that he sweat drops of blood but he dared to do it anyway.  How dare we say no to
him?  How can we look upon his tear-stained brow and say “No, Jesus, it’s too hard.  I can’t face
sharing my faith with that person; I can’t invite them to church, they might get offended.  It’s too hard for
me to let my children go on a mission trip; they might get hurt, they might miss basketball camp.  It’s too
hard for me to face that person I’ve hurt and ask for their forgiveness, they might not accept my apology.”
If Jesus dared to go the Cross, how can dare so no to anything he might ask us to do? 

The choice is yours:  Will you be one of countless Christians who live their entire life consumed by
dread?  Or will you be one who dared to let your life count?  Who dared to walk in radical obedience.  
One who dared to face the hard things in life, one who dared to wrestle with the things God requires of
you.

Really, what God asks us to do—it’s nothing compared to what he has already done for us.  And it’s
always for our ultimate good.  Yes, even the hard things God asks us to do, he asks because he loves
us.  And because he wants us to experience the joy of living a life that counts.

How Could You Say No? *
By Billy Sprague

Thorns on His head, Spear in His side
Yet it was a heartache that made Him cry
He gave His life, so you would understand
Is there any way you could say no to this Man

If Christ Himself were standing here
Face full of glorie, and eyes full of tears
And He held out His arms and His nail-printed hands
Is there any way you could say no to this Man

How could you look in His tear stained eyes
Knowing it’s you He’s thinking of
Could you tell Him you’re not ready to give Him your life
Could you say you don’t think you need His love

Jesus is here, with His arms open wide
You can see Him with your heart if you’ll stop looking with your eyes
He’s left it up to you, He’s done all that He can
Is there any way you could say no to this Man

How could you look in His tear stained eyes
Knowing it’s you He’s thinking of
Could you tell Him you’re not ready to give Him your life
Could you say you don’t think you need His love

Thorns on His head, your life in His hand
Is there any way you could say no to this Man
Is there any way you could say no to this Man

*  You can download this song from itunes for .99 cents, as recorded by Greg Otterholt.  It’s not the
greatest recording, but this is a powerful, powerful tune. You can either play it or find someone to sing it
live.